These past three years I always asked myself, 'what do I really want to be?' 'what kind of job do I really want?''can I succeed in life if I do this?'
I like to travel.
I like to write.
Most of all I love storytelling of places I went to, of things I done and shares it with my friend.
I used to dream on becoming someone with a lot of money and handles the money but then later when I grew and saw what I really want and what I have learned... its different. When you love something eventhough its hard and tiring, if it still can make you happy, then it is truely something that you love for. But if in the end, you go back home and became depressed all of a sudden, that occupation is not for you. It wasn't worth your time and effort to still stuck in the place where everything seems hazy and blank everytime you work.
I let go of my dream. Because it wasn't dream that holding me down. It was my ego and the benefits that come with it. I cried that time. My heart was restless. I have never been in a palce where I don't have places to go. An arrow to point me where to go in life and at that time I was too old to start asking myself these questions and in those hard times, I put my faith in Him. I asked him of what should I do with my life?
Then, His answered doesn't come immediately. It wasn't monumental at all. But it is a sign all the same and I followed it hoping it was the best for me.
My parents weren't pleasing with the news at that time. It was a total game change for them because they were scared for me. All they want for me is that in the future, the path I'm taking is the path that can make me secure and happy. to them, I was the child with a consistency. Who sticks with the plan and succeeds with everything (well, almost everything). I was their first born who needs to show example to them. Back then, to them, I was certain of my future. Then, when the news hit them, I look like a lost girl who needs to start from the very beginning.
Well, I am.
I have start learning from the basic (there is some exceoption though, haha). Although I'm not at the top of the class and always gotten a normal marks on my exam, I somehow felt at peace. Like all those things weren't too important anymore futhermore it's different from before. All that is because, I realize that, I love learning what I learnt. I love doing the assignments (although I procastinated, still when it comes to travelling for the assignment, I done it at most excellent performance). It was as if the life I lived between these two periods of my university life can be asily distinguished.
My diploma years, it was all about depressing marks but great friends and great youthful experience.
Whereas my degree years, it was all about maturing. Accepting. And keeping good friends.
Three years after degree... I was met with the the most difficult part of my life. The upgrade of my status from a student to a career women and yet, I still don't know what to do with my life. As it turn out to be that most people face the same problem as I do and it is not limited to aerly age as well. No matter what age you are, a turn in life is an event that every people faced oned or twice in their life.
It is not easy to become something of your dream off. To be the most perfect in your visionary world. You can still be one but the roads are not always straight and not always curvy. They come in whatever version they can be. Now I'm underging my undergraduate internship and from there at least I can slash off
Is it going to be okay?
I do hope it would.
Pray for me.
That would be a lot of thanks if you would.